Former Foreign Minister Alexander Downer has been given a challenging job in the Philippines : cataloguing Imelda Marcos’s vast collection of stockings . While it is common knowledge that Imelda had a mountain of shoes , few people know that she had more fancy stockings than Priscilla , Queen of the Desert . Unfortunately, the stockings have been in a steaming , tangled heap since she and her husband were booted out of the country . Fortunately , Alexander knows a lot about stockings as he won the best prefect’s prize at his boarding school for making sure all female students wore their pantyhose like chastity belts , well and truly knotted under their chins. Alexander’s admirer, Senator Minchin , often seen wearing a stocking over his face so that he will not be identified at Coalition discipline enforcement sessions , where rattan canes are wielded with great gusto , obtained the Manila job for our former beloved Foreign Minister . Incidently , there are wild stories coming out of Canberra that the good senator will himself be leaving parliament soon to take up an exciting , adrenalin pumping post wearing a stocking over his face outside leading banks.
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