Rudd's Wet Nose Secret Revealed

How does Prime Minister Kevin Rudd remain bright eyed and bushy tailed with his massive daily workload ? This important question was raised by the PM himself during the initial Q and A show on the ABC. The PM said that very day he had been to Adelaide , Melbourne and now he was in a studio at the ABC in Sydney and was still expected to be bright eyed and bushy tailed . Well, we can reveal his secret : each morning , his butler , Jeeves, feeds him a hearty meal of Chinese dogfood . The additives cause Kevin 07 to behave like an energetic Pitt Bull Terrier ; he licks his lips and other parts of his anatomy in anticipation of another long day of political dogfights. As everybody knows, Chinese dogfood sold in America caused pooches there to rush around like cars in the Indy 500 . Questions have been asked about the contents of Chinese pig food in Western Australia after porkers were seen flying over Rottnest Island . Pickled Chinese dim sims, containing the same secret herbs and spices , sold in Japan caused some gourmets to prematurely meet their honourable ancestors , and nearly caused another Manchurian incident. It seems the dogfood ingredients are similar to the esteemed ancient stimulant Nine Dog , sold in large quantities to anxious men on the Australian waterfront in bygone days. Any leftovers from Mr Rudd’s breakfast are given to his sons so that they will not suffer from classroom fuzzies . On this diet of choice mandarin munchies ,the boys, like father, have become hyper-active . One son pole vaults over The Lodge perimeter security fence each night and takes part in noisy street rap dancing contests where youths guzzle large quantities of spring water . His brother regularly climbs the flag atop parliament house and hangs upside down like a Queensland fruit bat, a stunt which will undoubtedly lead to a brilliant career in Circus OZ. The butler is currently trading the Rudd family dogs in on a pair of Huskies so that the PM’s gas guzzling limo can be swapped for Douglas Mawson’s sled.

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