The epic voyage of the Argonauts came to mind when Lord Nelson rose on the poop deck of the SS Alco-Pop to deliver his budget reply speech. The faces of his motley crew clearly showed signs of scurvy, bitterness , regular flogging by Madam Lash and the new bread and water diet imposed on them in opposition . All this , and they have only been adrift for about half a year . Clustered about Nelson , down to his last wonky eye and unsteady on his borer infested wooden leg, were amazing hydra-headed creatures who nodded and shook their heads like automatons. Nelson did the compulsory mock angry Andrew Peacock performance during his oration . Out in the bleachers , resting on his oar , Alexander Downer looked to be either going prematurely grey, thus giving the appearance of an elder statesman when he pops in on Centrelink seeking gainful employment , or out of Grecian 500 . At least Peacock never ran out of dye when he was in the public eye . He also had a goodly supply of bedsheets, if I remember correctly . Unfortunately, the TV camera did not focus very often on the former wonder chancellor of the exchequer whose skilful helmsmanship steered Howard’s ship of state safely up the Limpopo until it hit a mandarin crate and turned turtle. However , when he did come into focus , some people observed he had an inflated face like the Magic Pudding , Norman Lindsay’s great invention which enabled gluttonous Australian children to gorge themselves nonstop, the root cause of the present obesity epidemic in kids. Could this have been his secret ? Was he the magic parliamentary pud , the secret to those heady days of never ending free lunches? Hanging on to the rudder of the Coalition’s lifeboat was a pollie who used to be highly animated on TV when he sat behind submariner John Howard in the old days . Tuther night he was almost missing at sea , bleary eyed from salt spray and soon to become another Chelsea Pensioner .
Cyclops
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